Follow-up to "Perfect!"

Well folks, here it is two weeks after that last post (but it feels like six).  Yes, it's "that time of year" and, well...I just didn't get to it last week.  So sue me.

I felt it appropriate to follow up on that last post since it seemed to strike a chord with many.  So here goes...

The first week back at work was rough.  Believe me, if you're told "you should take two weeks" don't play superhero if you can avoid it.  I consider myself a "trooper" but I was quite floored that first week back - even though there were two days that I only taught half a day.  That being said, I survived it.  AND...after much fret from my hospital bed about how my Music Memory team would perform at our final meet on Saturday, Dec. 9, I am proud to say they pulled through.  Not only did they pull through, but in a big way!  My fifth grade team took first place, and one of those students placed first as an individual.  The other team members all placed.  My one and only third grader not only took first place, but the judges were in shock - he had an absolutely PERFECT paper!  (there's that word again)

I only called one "extra" rehearsal (to make up for the one I missed while in the hospital the previous week) to prepare my students for their winter musical.  Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately, who knows) my principal decided that we should NOT have any in-school performances due to the number of disruptions already existing in the daily schedule.  I didn't argue.  I usually like to have in-school performances on the day of the show because it gives us a great dress rehearsal complete with an audience.  At one point during a rehearsal less than one week from the production date and after yet another lead speaking part dropped out, one of my assisting coworkers said to me, "You must be heavily medicated."  I asked why and she said, "If that was me running that rehearsal, I would have been a screaming lunatic - you have tremendous restraint!"  I explained to her that me ranting and throwing a tantrum would have accomplished one thing:  to make ME more upset.  It wouldn't have made things any better, and it certainly wouldn't have helped the kids.  I had totally resigned myself to just getting through this performance.  I had made up my mind that it would be one of the absolute WORST performances I would ever lead in my entire career.  But...I was just going to have to deal with it and hope the audience wouldn't be the wiser.

I'm here to report that I was absolutely, 100% WRONG about that!  The evening of the performance arrived.  I had the usual amount of absentees (I'm used to that) and one lead part that had decided not to come to school that day was among them.  The students were in a panic.  I told them not to be concerned with anyone else and just perform their own parts to the best of their ability.  I read his part from my director's seat in front of the stage - and no one knew it was anything that wasn't supposed to be there.  My students sang brilliantly - on pitch, with enthusiasm.  They smiled.  I smiled.  They delivered their lines with feeling and strength.  The flow from one scene to the next (props, movement, and all) was as if it had been rehearsed since August.  It was, frankly, one of THE best performances I have ever led in my life - EVER!  Parents congratulated me and I even got a call from my principal asking me what exactly did I think the problem was (we had had discussions in the weeks leading up to it) - she thought it was fantastic.  I told her how wrong I was.

I should also note that to heap on a little more stress, our annual "Winter Festival" is always held the same night as the performance.  Each grade level is in charge of one food item and one game.  I am the grade level chair for my group ("special populations") and I had to attend meetings, purchase items needed to pull it off, and deal with a last-minute possible failure of the hay ride that we were to provide.  It all went beautifully, the parents had a great time, and the school made money.

To further test my limits, I have been waiting for a year for a probate court date.  A close friend passed away last year and since the family is scattered to the four winds, they asked ME to administrate his estate.  Wouldn't you know after waiting all this time, I got word of the court date while lying in a hospital bed?  I made it to court and was able to get the initial efforts started for sewing up the estate of my deceased friend.

The point I'm trying to make here is...I could have spazzed.  I could have yelled.  I could have screamed and yes, I could have just given up..."Sorry, I'm recuperating from surgery and have personal matters to attend to."  But I didn't.  I approached it with resolve and continued to reaffirm quietly to myself, "Just do your best, just do your best."  And wouldn't you know it?  My best turned out to be just enough to pull it all off.

So when you are in the midst of the frantic month of December as a music teacher, relax...go with the flow...it will be what it will be...and if anyone has anything to say about it, they'll need to take a few steps in your sensible teacher shoes.

There may be a couple weeks lag in my posting as I am going to enjoy my holiday hiatus from the classroom.  If I get inspired, I may write a post over the holiday break, but if not, I will be back after the new year.

Best wishes to all for a happy, healthy, and wonderful holiday season.  The tragedy in Connecticut is weighing heavily on our minds this weekend.  Do not fret.  Keep those souls in your prayers, keep your heads up, and move forward with resolve to make a difference in your students' lives.  Turn off the news.  Turn away from the media frenzy and take a moment to reflect on how your light will be one of the many that will help make this world a brighter place.  Focus on the light and love, not the darkness and fear.

Until next time...

Perfect!

It's December 1 as I sit down to write this week's post.  This is the time of year for almost all of the past 27 years that I would go into full-on PANIC mode.  It's "that time" for music teachers across the country, time for (insert evil music here) The Christmas Program.

As my years in this profession have been increasing almost exponentially lately, I have been trying to make the conscious decision to do one simple thing every day in my lessons and in my rehearsals, meetings, etc. - RELAX!  Well, I have been having only mild success with this concept...until this past week.  Here we are, the first full week back after Thanksgiving break...and on Sunday evening before going back to work, I was rushed to the Emergency Room at one of our local hospitals with acute appendicitis and had an emergency appendectomy early Monday morning on what turned out to be a ruptured appendix.

Instead of thinking about the fact that A) Had we not gone to the hospital when we did, I could easily not be sitting here writing this and B) I needed to focus on gradually increasing my strength and stamina and rest to get a full recovery, I was thinking about (insert evil music again) the Christmas program!  I was also thinking about the UIL meet my Music Memory team will face next Saturday and how, oh how was I to get everything done when I'd already lost a week and the doctors were threatening me with having to miss yet another week to recuperate at home?  What would happen?  How could I get everyone ready?

Then it hit me, "You said you needed to learn to relax.  You weren't doing it.  Well, here's your chance."  The bottom line for elementary music teachers is this, folks:  I have had holiday programs when I prepared, and prepared, and fretted, and fussed, and lost sleep, and got cold sores, and had near-nervous breakdowns...and they were fine.  I've also had others with less stress and fretting (but still some) and guess what?  Those were fine too.  The bottom line is:  you can worry all you want, but it's not going to change the outcome.  If you are prepared and organized, your students are going to do as well as they can - and even if "as well as they can" is not up to your Carnegie Hall standards, the parents' camcorders and phones will be running, they will be smiling, and absolutely thrilled that their child is on the stage.

We cannot blame ourselves.  It is the nature of our chosen profession.  What is "good" music?  Well, it certainly isn't music with mistakes all over the place, forgotten lyrics, flat pitches, and off-rhythms.  Take a look at this YouTube video in case you haven't seen it...it addresses the necessity of perfection in music to a tee:

We strive for that perfection with every piece we attempt with our students.  We know in our mind's ear exactly what we want our groups to sound like.  We fight for rehearsal times and work around family illnesses, families going out of town, assemblies, school holidays, testing, and the occasional bad attitude or bad behavior and strive to get that "perfect" sound.  When it doesn't happen, we get frustrated, our anxiety rises, and sometimes we even make ourselves sick.  How does that help the students' performance?  It doesn't.

One of my most favorite books ever is "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.  It jumped off the bookshelf right into my hands one day many years ago when I was looking for some inspiration.  Little did I know after I selected it how many of my friends had read it (gee, thanks for letting ME in on it, guys!).  The fourth agreement is one of the simplest - Always Do Your Best.  The book goes on to explain that some days your "best" might not be the same as others - and that's okay.  You may be tired, you may have many responsibilities, you may be sick, you may be well-rested...all of these things will change what your "best" actually is.  He writes:

Regardless of the quality, keep doing your best...if you try too hard to do more than your best, you will spend more energy than is needed and in the end your best will not be enough...if you always do your best, there is no way you can judge yourself...

I have been given all sorts of advice (mostly unsolicited) regarding how to handle my upcoming events in December with my convalescing period in the middle of it - cancel classes, cut numbers, postpone performances, etc.  No.  That's not going to happen.  First of all, it's Christmastime and parents don't want to see performances for the holidays in January.  Secondly, regardless of my new-found laissez faire attitude, there will be a small level of anxiety directly related to "the show."  Do I really want to destroy my own holiday season by dragging that on?  Absolutely not - my sanity is more important.  So, we will press on, we will do our best, and the snowflakes will fall where they may (even though we don't have snowflakes in South Texas).

So, if you're reading this and have "that December music teacher feeling" do not despair.  First, you are not alone, but more importantly - stop stressing about "the program."  Continue to do your best and all will be well.  

Until next week...