Perfect!

It's December 1 as I sit down to write this week's post.  This is the time of year for almost all of the past 27 years that I would go into full-on PANIC mode.  It's "that time" for music teachers across the country, time for (insert evil music here) The Christmas Program.

As my years in this profession have been increasing almost exponentially lately, I have been trying to make the conscious decision to do one simple thing every day in my lessons and in my rehearsals, meetings, etc. - RELAX!  Well, I have been having only mild success with this concept...until this past week.  Here we are, the first full week back after Thanksgiving break...and on Sunday evening before going back to work, I was rushed to the Emergency Room at one of our local hospitals with acute appendicitis and had an emergency appendectomy early Monday morning on what turned out to be a ruptured appendix.

Instead of thinking about the fact that A) Had we not gone to the hospital when we did, I could easily not be sitting here writing this and B) I needed to focus on gradually increasing my strength and stamina and rest to get a full recovery, I was thinking about (insert evil music again) the Christmas program!  I was also thinking about the UIL meet my Music Memory team will face next Saturday and how, oh how was I to get everything done when I'd already lost a week and the doctors were threatening me with having to miss yet another week to recuperate at home?  What would happen?  How could I get everyone ready?

Then it hit me, "You said you needed to learn to relax.  You weren't doing it.  Well, here's your chance."  The bottom line for elementary music teachers is this, folks:  I have had holiday programs when I prepared, and prepared, and fretted, and fussed, and lost sleep, and got cold sores, and had near-nervous breakdowns...and they were fine.  I've also had others with less stress and fretting (but still some) and guess what?  Those were fine too.  The bottom line is:  you can worry all you want, but it's not going to change the outcome.  If you are prepared and organized, your students are going to do as well as they can - and even if "as well as they can" is not up to your Carnegie Hall standards, the parents' camcorders and phones will be running, they will be smiling, and absolutely thrilled that their child is on the stage.

We cannot blame ourselves.  It is the nature of our chosen profession.  What is "good" music?  Well, it certainly isn't music with mistakes all over the place, forgotten lyrics, flat pitches, and off-rhythms.  Take a look at this YouTube video in case you haven't seen it...it addresses the necessity of perfection in music to a tee:

We strive for that perfection with every piece we attempt with our students.  We know in our mind's ear exactly what we want our groups to sound like.  We fight for rehearsal times and work around family illnesses, families going out of town, assemblies, school holidays, testing, and the occasional bad attitude or bad behavior and strive to get that "perfect" sound.  When it doesn't happen, we get frustrated, our anxiety rises, and sometimes we even make ourselves sick.  How does that help the students' performance?  It doesn't.

One of my most favorite books ever is "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.  It jumped off the bookshelf right into my hands one day many years ago when I was looking for some inspiration.  Little did I know after I selected it how many of my friends had read it (gee, thanks for letting ME in on it, guys!).  The fourth agreement is one of the simplest - Always Do Your Best.  The book goes on to explain that some days your "best" might not be the same as others - and that's okay.  You may be tired, you may have many responsibilities, you may be sick, you may be well-rested...all of these things will change what your "best" actually is.  He writes:

Regardless of the quality, keep doing your best...if you try too hard to do more than your best, you will spend more energy than is needed and in the end your best will not be enough...if you always do your best, there is no way you can judge yourself...

I have been given all sorts of advice (mostly unsolicited) regarding how to handle my upcoming events in December with my convalescing period in the middle of it - cancel classes, cut numbers, postpone performances, etc.  No.  That's not going to happen.  First of all, it's Christmastime and parents don't want to see performances for the holidays in January.  Secondly, regardless of my new-found laissez faire attitude, there will be a small level of anxiety directly related to "the show."  Do I really want to destroy my own holiday season by dragging that on?  Absolutely not - my sanity is more important.  So, we will press on, we will do our best, and the snowflakes will fall where they may (even though we don't have snowflakes in South Texas).

So, if you're reading this and have "that December music teacher feeling" do not despair.  First, you are not alone, but more importantly - stop stressing about "the program."  Continue to do your best and all will be well.  

Until next week...