The Bittersweet Year of Retirement

I have been remiss about keeping up my blog...mainly for one reason:  this will, without question, be my final year of teaching elementary music.  I have been doing this since 1985 and it's time to step away from the classroom, spread my wings, and enjoy my life a little before I reach the "too old to go jumping out of airplanes" phase.

A dear friend (now retired) told me, "Don't view events as 'the last' but rather as 'the ultimate.'"  While there was humor in this and I joked often about it, just this past week it has actually finally hit home.  This last week was the ULTIMATE time I would sing any of the Halloween songs my students had come to enjoy over the years.  Never again will I sing my "Scary Hello" song (simply "Hello There" sung in c minor using an electronic keyboard set on a pipe organ sound, finishing out with a fully diminished c chord resolving into a c minor).  Never again will I experience the various "dress-up days" associated with Red Ribbon Week.  I will not watch firemen shoot off the fire hose in front of the school as part of their demonstration for Fire Safety Week again.

All of these "ultimates" have stirred emotions within me...and they are polar opposites.  I am thrilled to death that I never have to deal with any of these again (I'm tired) but, simultaneously, there is this a heavy, melancholy feeling deep in my heart.  I know it is not up to me regarding what fate awaits the music program I have spent so many years building - but I worry.  Despite local, state, and national accolades for my program, current leadership has deemed it appropriate to diminish what I had worked so hard to build.  I will not go into the details (this is not a "griping" post and there really is no room for such negativity here), but my unhappiness with poor educational decisions by our "leaders" is one of the many factors solidifying my decision to leave.  With all this joy, melancholy, worry, and angst...I am certainly feeling more than a little emotional confusion.

In Texas, the Teacher Retirement System currently has (for us "grandfathered" folks) a retirement eligibility of 80 - your years of service plus your age.  Because I had four years here and there where I was not working directly in public schools (but often "education-adjacent" activities) I will have 27 years on the Texas books (10 of them purchased and transferred in from Pennsylvania).  Because I will be turning 53 on March 11, 2016, that WILL be my final day in the classroom.  It is also bittersweet.  While I will undoubtedly feel the sadness of saying good-bye to a major chunk of my life, it will be a Friday, it will be my birthday, and it will be the last day of classes prior to Spring Break!  Clearly celebration will be in order.

So, for those of you music educators nearing the same phase I say to you, "Enjoy it.  Let the small stuff go.  Appreciate every moment."  And for those who have a long way to go, I say the same.  It goes by in a flash.  There will be plenty of things "wrong with the system" but there is SO much good you can do.  Focus on the good!  Savor the moments...there will be a time when they won't be there any longer.

What's next?  I'm not sure.  I will, without question, be keeping my finger on the pulse of music education.  I will continue to write, present, and compose music for children and teachers.  That aspect of my professional life continues to bring me satisfaction beyond measure.  This blog?  I have no idea.  I'm going to leave it up (too many of you have sent me private emails expressing your gratitude) but the direction it will take is unknown at this point.

Teach on, my music friends, teach on!